Jason B. Trowbridge, MFT
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therapist for mother and daughter

Father and son therapist

 resolving parenting issues
Education and Consulting for Parents

 Parenting today is truly demanding work that can leave parents feeling frustrated, infuriated, and depressed. Most of us feel, initially, that deeply loving our children and trying our best should be enough. However, when problems persist despite our best efforts, we tend to feel shame. This shame can convert to anger before we’re even aware of it and become part of a negative cycle with our kids. Some parents are hesitant to reach out for help for fear that they will be judged or criticized by professionals. I work with parents in a non-judgmental way to help them create stronger bonds with their children in order to give them the sense of security they need to navigate the serious challenges that exist today.

Drug Abuse

When it comes to teens and drug abuse, more is needed than simple slogans.  Different programs have emerged, with varying success, to educate kids about drugs.  (All peer-reviewed studies on D.A.R.E. have shown that it does not reduce drug use in participants.)  And some programs can inadvertently glamorize drugs while promoting teens’ reliance on third parties for mentoring.  With the belief that others have taken care of the drug threat, parents can develop a false sense of confidence and proceed to take a hands-off approach to drug education and prevention.

It is my belief that any effective approach to preventing teen drug abuse must primarily involve parents!  That being said, lectures do not work!  The prerequisite to helping teens to navigate today’s challenges is a strong relationship.  We cannot guide them if they will not listen.  My work involves the strengthening of parent-child bonds that give parents the framework and authority to address the issue of substance abuse.  Secure, trusting relationships with teenagers are the best inoculation against peer-pressure and drug abuse.

Getting Past Power Struggles

When faced with today’s parenting challenges, most parents fall back on the approaches that our own parents used with us.  Should these parenting techniques fail (as they often can do), we often apply them more rigorously only to find our children and adolescents becoming more hostile, alienated, and resistant.  In despair, many parents search for materials that offer help with parenting.

Booksellers sell plenty of parenting books, most of which detail “one size fits all” miracle techniques that focus on changing behavior.  And schools mandate “anger management” courses that don’t deal with causes.  Yet when a child is feeling rejected or even unloved because most interaction involves their “bad” behavior, more sophisticated control techniques or “Tough Love” approaches are not helpful.  The regular use of threats by parents is a sign that things are not going well.

Inappropriate behavior must be addressed in a firm and consistent manner but firmness will not work in the absence of a good relationship.  Parents may win battles but lose the war. Youths who feel dominated tend to go underground and reject adult contact altogether.  And when youths turn exclusively to their peers for love, support, and guidance the results are most always disastrous.

It is impossible to guide and mentor our children without a strong relationship.  Children who have strong relationships with their parents are more willing to be guided, easier to parent and much more resilient.  That is why my work focuses on collaborating with parents to strengthen their bonds with their younger children and to reconnect with their adolescents who have been lost to the peer world.

I provide hour long parenting consultations to work on specific issues and help parents to create an overall framework for stronger connections with their children or teens.

Call now to schedule an appointment – 707.480.3511.
          707. 480 . 3511

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